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How to manage breakup and design together?

Witnessing breakup?

We all have that one breakup that absolutely wrecks our mental health, life goes colorless, aimless, and whatnot! At such times, when even survival seems difficult, how about having a design deadline? A design career is always blamed to be stressful, whether you’re a student or a professional…. Let’s see some ways that worked out for me and may work out for you too. All these tips are for times when you have just broke up.

Cry the breakup out…

Well… this might not feel like the right advice. You might think that I’m going contradictory but it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

Please cry the breakup out. Just make sure that you don’t keep crying for the rest of your life (lol). Temporarily set aside all work, maybe take a day or two off if possible.

Soak your pillows wet, hug your teddy bears, scream it loud…

Why? When I got dumped (ah yes, alas), I cried for one whole week, I couldn’t work because I was so emotionally overwhelmed. But I wasn’t mad at myself, I was crying because I cared. Difficult times require patience and loads of self love.

breakup woman

Call someone you trust

breakup man

Now you’ve cried enough, and got most of the breakup pain out of your nerves, call someone you trust- maybe your best friend, a senior, an old friend, or anyone.. Remember, at such times, we tend to feel lonely, betrayed or maybe cheated. Speaking to loved ones, soothes that pain.

However, be selective about whom you choose to call, not everyone has the emotional maturity or intentions to help you. Choosing the wrong person can lead to further pain.

I called my father. I remember crying on that phone call.

The next morning, my whole family surprised me at the door. My father had brought Mushroom soup for me, which he made by himself (not all Indian fathers do that). I felt so loved.

Today, it is a beautiful memory.

Bad times teach us to appreciate the good times. When we experience darkness, we learn to cherish the light and be grateful for it.

Breakups are a part of life, not whole life

The person you’re crying on was a part of your life, not your whole life. I like to divide it into 2-3 parts: professional life, personal life, semi personal life. Professional life is work/ study life. We don’t tell everything to people, that’s personal life. What I tell my close friends and family is semi personal life.

Every aspect of life is important and requires balance. A clear-cut division helps us to cope with stressful situations better. One part of your life may be miserable, but other parts are still beautiful. Don’t forget to cherish what you have while lamenting what you lost.

It’s okay if all these get mixed up. I did that too. I remember breaking down while working on a design submission. It was horrible, the next moment I had to get ready and leave for the presentation. Looking back, I admire my emotional strength. I never gave up.

breakup life

It’s okay to be unsatisfied

breakup work

Breakups wreck productivity. They disrupt sleep schedules. As a result, the quality of work goes down. We designers are so obsessed with perfectionism that we get disturbed that our design is disturbed!

It’s okay if it’s not your best design or if it’s a “just okay” piece. Make sure, it works, serves the purpose, solves problems…. don’t burden yourself. That little unsatisfaction is the only reason you get up again and strive to get better. Don’t be disheartened, use it as a source of motivation.

Understand yourself, and be patient, if not you, then who will? Who will understand that you are going through tough times? A good design comes from a healthy mind.

It takes time for the emotional pain to go away, but life goes on. Being patient with oneself eases the process. It will take time to stand up again, but trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Remember, it requires a lot of time to heal from a breakup if you were deeply invested in the relationship. Many times, you’ll hate yourself for a certain behavior, and other times you’ll be mad at your ex. One day, you’ll feel relieved, the next day, you’ll be a mess. It is like a roller-coaster of emotions. Healing takes time. Just keep trying, push yourself, one day you’ll be out without even realizing it.

It took me six months to completely recover from that breakup. Three months out of those, I was in college, doing design assignments, and giving exams. Two and half months, I was on my internship. I went from having breakdowns every night to sleeping while reading my favorite book. When has life been easy? I went from having suicidal thoughts to being absolutely happy and comfortable in my mind. It gets better! One day, it felt like its never going to end, and today I’m writing tips to survive it. Some people recover within days, some take years, be patient enough… this too shall pass.

A video that helped me a lot: https://youtu.be/W6BYAjhjt38

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